Cinderella Paradox
by Momo Aria
Summary: Through out my life, I have deceived my heart. No matter how much I love Yuuma, I always wished for my childhood friend to come take me away, but it will never happen. Yuuma x Miki x Len. Based on the song Cinderella Paradox by BuzzG and luz. Sequel to Peter Pan Syndrome.


I was walking along the Fifth Avenue on the eve of my wedding. In my walk, I glance at the church where I will get married at the next day. I recall the time where I had sent out the invitations. As I had done so, I was trembling. I had wonder if it have ever reached him. Of course it did, though. I remember I saw him reading the invitation at work one month earlier.

Thinking of him, I remember the promise we had made when we were children. In our young days, we had promised to be together forever. Now, that promise has been frozen in time. I wished to be frozen too. Deep down, I want to be with him.

For just a little while, let the time stop

* * *

"Len! You're so slow!"

As a young girl, I had always ran farther ahead than my best friend, Len. He would always get behind, but then, I had never noticed because I had went too far ahead. We were in the forest where we always played together. It would always be a game of tag or hide and seek, and we would always find each other.

I remember the first time I had came to the forest. It happened after I first met Len when I moved to this city. After I befriended him, he took me to the forest, saying it was his favorite place. Falling in love with it at first sight, I ran and explore the place, abandoning Len. It was so beautiful. The trees stood tall and mighty, and their leaves shined brightly thanks to the rays of the sun. The wildflowers that bloomed were so pretty as they blossomed. I walk by a path blocked by a tree with two large branches, making an opening. With determination, I ran towards it. With much speed, I climbed through the opening space between the large branches of the tree. With a successful landing, I cheered for myself.

"That was amazing!"

I had expected a response from Len, but after my cheering, I had realized I was alone and I left Len behind again. That moment, I had also realized I did not know where I was at in the forest. So I wandered around, looking for Len all over. I didn't know where I was at. I was in the forest, somewhere I don't know. I kept on walking. I was lost.

"Miki!"

I heard his voice.

"Len!" I called out.

"Miki!" He was close.

"Len! I'm over here!"

"Miki" Finally, Len came to sight and he saw me. "Why would you leave like that? This is your first time here," he scolded me.

"I'm sorry," I apologized. Len sighed.

"It's okay. I found you."

Since that day, Len and I played together in the forest. Often, I would get lost and Len would have to find me. I was a girl who was full of life. Len was a boy who look after me. Well, he look after everyone he cared for. That was the kind of person he was.

After a year, we were playing tag in the forest. I was a fast runner so I ran far ahead. I climbed past the tree that blocked the path, and I kept running, not wanting to lose. Eventually, I had ran far enough that I ended up exiting the forest and had encountered a balloon vendor. Knowing how Len like balloons, I went towards the vendor. I ask the cashier for a green balloon because Len likes the color green. After paying him, I took the balloon and I walk back to the forest.

I didn't bother to run. Instead I walk the entire way. I wonder what Len was doing. Knowing him, he probably found some pretty flowers and was making a flower crown. I remember. When I first met Len, he was making a crown entirely out of flowers, and I thought it was the most wonderful thing. The children in our school pick on Len for doing such a hobby. As a result, after I became friends with Len, I found myself getting into fights with the other kids.

Thanks to that, Len was my only friend in elementary school, but I was perfectly okay with it. Len was a wonderful friend. He was nice. He was understand. He was caring. Len made wonderful flower crowns. Even his mother adore them. They were beautiful.

I finally got closer to Len. He came to my sight as I kept walking, and I notice he remained at the tree. I had realized I never saw Len climb over that tree before. Eventually, once I stood right next to Len, he had finished his crown.

"Ah! Another flower crown! So pretty!" I examined it in awe. It was made out of beautiful lavender flowers.

"It's your reward," he told me as he stood up. "You won our game of tag," he said as he placed the crown on my head.

"Thank you!" I said happily. "I got a present for you," I told him, holding the balloon up to him. "It's an apology for leaving you behind."

With a smile, he accepted the gift. He looked so cute with that small smile as he wore a white shirt and brown suspenders. His blonde hair shined brightly. His blue eyes sparkled as he took the green balloon.

"How did you get past that though?" He asked me, pointing to the tree.

"It was easy, just jump and crawl through it," I answered.

"Eh… I tried that, then I ended up getting stuck."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Try again"

"Why?"

"I want to see you try it again."

He knew I wouldn't take "no" for an answer. While hesitant, he gave me his balloon. He walked farther back to a point where he can run to the tree. At a good spot, he started running. Once he got to the tree, I watch him get stuck, his body in between the branches. I laughed at the scene and I walked towards him. I tied the balloon around his wrist, tight enough that it stays but light enough that it won't harm him. I grabbed his hands and I pulled him, enough so he would be able to leap out of the tree. When he got off, I kept hold of his hand and I began to run, taking him with me.

This was what we did everyday as children

* * *

I had always believed that it will last forever.

As we got older, I had developed feelings for Len. I always hid them away, for fear of what could happen to our friendship. I had believed that he may like another girl. It was possible. Things changed in high school. Contrast to how we were outcasts in elementary school, Len was popular with the girls in high school. Every week, a girl came up to him and tried to gain his attention.

Sometimes, I had hid behind trees and watch the girls confess to Len. I had realized that the days were changing, and things weren't the same anymore. As a result, I had spent time with a new friend of mine, Yuuma.

"I like handsome guys."

"I like rich guys too."

To Yuuma, I brought up a facade, and it wasn't good for my health. I had told Yuuma of the things I claim to like, acting as if I had never like Len in such a way. Yuuma always smiled at me and I enjoyed my time with him. Even so, I still spent time with Len as always, but not all the time, as each day, a girl was wanting his attention. As things couldn't stay the same, I spent time with Yuuma.

After high school, I was working in the amusement park with both Len and Yuuma. I was always with Yuuma, since Len and I were working at different stations, and anytime I went to visit Len, there was always someone there, and I couldn't bring myself to interrupt. I see him laugh, and I wanted him to laugh with me.

As long as I had Len, I didn't need anything. In addition, I couldn't laugh from the heart. I always fake my laugh with Yuuma. I couldn't stand alone either. I needed Len.

But I can't have Len, can I?

I couldn't get over this feeling.

Can I forget about Len?

How stupid of me, these feelings will never reach him…

* * *

The bells were ringing, giving their blessing. Here I stood, next to Yuuma, dressed all in white. I kept calm throughout the entire ceremony. Everyone was watching. Friends, family, even Len came. This was to be the happiest day of my life.

I wonder if Len could see the uneasiness in my eyes.

I love Yuuma. That's why I accepted his proposal that day at the park. Everyone was watching and admiring the scene, and I had been so happy. I had said yes to him. Being his bride had sounded wonderful.

At the same time, however, I kept thinking of Len, my childhood friend, the boy I have loved all these years. He always cared for me as a good friend, but I had wished that he had maybe thought of me differently. I had yearned for him. I had wanted him.

Len never changed. He was the same as he always was. He was the same boy I love. At this party, he had spoken kindly to Yuuma, probably telling him to take good care of me. How sweet. As I watched them talk to each other, I breathed a sigh of relief.

But I feel like crying.

* * *

In a dream I had, I was playing with Len in the forest. It was the old days all over again. He and I were running, hands linked together, two children having fun. This time, we were grown up, and between our hands were fifteen balloons of different colors. We were laughing as we had in our childhood.

Then, as I had more energy, I let go and ran ahead in such a speed. My laughter was ringing, and he was behind me, trying to catch up.

Then suddenly, everything changed.

I was wearing my wedding dress.

And Len was running ahead of me.

I chased him. I didn't want to lose him.

' _Don't go.'_

I kept running. As I ran, I had lost one of my shoes I was wearing. I didn't care. I just couldn't lose Len. I couldn't lose the one I love. I couldn't bear to lose him.

' _Please don't go.'_

Suddenly, a hand grabbed me and pulled me back. I turned my head, and I saw Yuuma holding me.

' _It's okay.'_

Yuuma was here for me. I should be fine. I will be happy with him. But even so, I had extended my arm out, trying to reach Len.

He was gone.

' _I still love you.'_

* * *

I had been deceiving my heart all along.

Did I truly love Yuuma?

I wonder so as I threw the bouquet of flowers after Len congratulated me.

"It's your turn now!" I told him so cheerfully. I don't know how I could pull that off. Deep down, I didn't want him to go to someone else.

I'm pathetic. I was weak. I hope Len doesn't forgive me for this. I hope Yuuma doesn't either. I don't deserve forgiveness.

Somehow, I heard Len's voice among the crowd of happy people

"Don't get lost," he told me with a smile.

It was faint, but I heard it through the cheering of the people. I heard all kinds of congratulations through everyone. Words like congratulations, they shouldn't say such words. I thought that as Yuuma and I shared our first kiss as a married couple. It was a sweet kiss, just like all the other kisses I had shared with him. Then, being the horrible person I am, I imagine what it would be like if Len kiss me like that. I desire for Len to snatch me away, but I know he won't. Things like that would only happen in dreams. They would never exist. I cried on this beautiful day. I couldn't tell if they were tears of happiness or tears of sorrow.

* * *

Several months had passed since then. Whenever I saw Len, he was always laughing with his friends, and I wonder if I could laugh alongside him. I still talk to him, but I would always feel regret deep inside. I always wonder, what would life be like if I had ever confessed my true feelings to him back then?

I'm horrible. I'm happy with Yuuma, or so I claim to be. I always claim to be such things to him. I was being unfair to him. I had always been unfair to him since high school. What kind of love do I have with him? I know I love him, but I can tell it's a different love from the kind I have for Len.

I still wait for Len all this time, even though I know he will never come for me. I wanted to see him this instant. I wanted my childhood to come back. I yearned for the old days again. I wanted everything to return.

' _It will never come back.'_

Somehow, I can't seem to get over this. Even after marrying Yuuma, I still have this dilemma.

Can I forget about Len?

No… I can't forget about Len.

He was my most precious friend from my childhood. He had always played with me. He made me the most beautiful crowns. He always searched for me and found me when I was lost…

I'm still lost…

And this time, he can't find me.

No one can find me ever again.

I'm with Yuuma now. I love Yuuma. I will always be with him, no matter how much I wish for Len to be with me.

I don't deserve any kind of love until my death.

No matter what I do, I will always want what I can't have.

 _The sound of the bells ring out._

* * *

 **AN: A long while ago, back in February 2015, I made a oneshot based on Peter Pan Syndrome. A sequel came out in November that year, but I never got to hear it until recently. I fell in love with it, so I wanted to make a sequel to my oneshot. I hope it came out as good as the previous story. I hope you enjoy! Please review as well!**


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